Although everyone is talking about Arsenal’s set-piece coach, they actually need an open-play coach.

Although I’ll concede that the Gunners are now so damn good at corners that they would likely finish on the podium in the Monaco Grand Prix, they now depend on them more than Trent Alexander-Arnold does on his teammates to protect him.

The statistics are striking, the kind of glaring that Plymouth Argyle supporters must be doing at whoever chose to hire Wayne Rooney, even though I’m not a huge xG (expected goals) fan.

They only managed 15.9 points this season, which is the 10th highest in the league (that’s poor Tottenham standards), and they produced a pitiful open play xG of 0.3 versus Fulham.

Being the Stoke City of corners is all well and good, but they’ve made every other aspect of their game Stokeified, which is just as detrimental as Andre Onana’s performance in goal.

Stew-pidity

The stewards for Tottenham are as bad as the boots Marc Cucurella wore when Chelsea defeated Spurs on Sunday. Every time someone walked over to take one of the ten corners the Blues had during the game, they were bombarded with missiles from the fans.

And how was it handled by the gormless security personnel? Basically, Andre Onana does nothing when things are thrown at him.

Why have stewards if all they’re going to do in such a scenario is pull an Erling Haaland when he faces a respectable team and disappear? Richarlison’s point is that they cannot simply sit on the side of the pitch and do nothing but twitch their thumbs and hope to get paid.

Spurs constantly boast about having the greatest stadium in the world, but if they value a cheese room and a microbrewery over having capable managers, then their priorities are more jumbled than Pep Guardiola’s face following one of his embarrassing moments.

Cut it out, Kev

Kevin De Bruyne’s hair bothers me. It’s one of those innocuous things that shouldn’t irritate me but does, like Rio Ferdinand’s mouth fashioned like the McDonald’s logo.

He really lacks the necessary style, charisma, and good looks (sorry, Kev) to carry off the slicked-back hairstyle with a headband. If he dressed up as Jack Grealish for Halloween, he would look like Ron Weasley or like a goat on a yoga vacation.

I support people experimenting with different hairstyles, but let’s face it, if he hadn’t been a well-known football player, he would have been laughed all the way back to the hair salon, much as Nottingham Forest supporters almost laughed Andre Onana back to Inter Milan following that disastrous performance on Saturday.

You wonder why Andre Onana is the target of so many shots. You can pretty much count on scoring when you shoot at him, as we witnessed over the weekend. So why not?